Dear Mr Straw,
We know that life is sometimes hard working in the cabinet. We know that life can be hard looking like the evil twin of the demon headmaster, and the fact that no one really cares about you and only wants to talk to you about the time Gordon Brown smiled due to one of Patricia Hewett’s farts – but has it really come to this?
Has the Credit Crunch affected you so much that you’ve spammed all of your constituents with a Hotmail account to try and get some money to get home from your walking trip in Africa? And what are you doing walking about at these times of financial instability?
Could this be the place Straw was staying at?
Straw said in his e-mail, “I misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money and other valuable things were kept. I would like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently to settle my hotel bills and get myself back home.”
All we can say is that we’re very glad that you’re not Education Secretary, with grammar and sentence structure like that.
We at Carrentals are a nice bunch of people though, and if we can help, we will. So, Mr Straw, have one on us. We will offer you a free hire car to get you back to the UK. Don’t worry, it’s on us. Have a good day Mr Straw, fighting crime and going to those English lessons.
Many thanks
Gareth Robinson
