To understand a man, you must first walk a mile in his Reebok Classics or drive a mile in his Nova/Metro or Cavalier. I’ve never done either, so just can’t understand the thoughts behind anyone who would buy, purchase or intend to own a Burberry suit. It’s not on. And quite rightly it’s going to get burned this Friday. And we’re helping.

Clive Boddington is that man with the suit. Clive is an associate of ours, and even with his fashion choices, is in charge of a £60million business. He’s obviously a fashion victim, make no mistake. Almost certainly he owned a bandana in the early 90s and is not afraid to express himself through the medium of printed fabric.

This is not him.

But hang on a minute, for our wide-ranging audience out there in the internets, we need to give you all some background.

Clive, sans suit

We need to tell you why we, as a company is helping burning Clive’s suit, why we’re doing it on Friday and why, on earth, do we want to burn something that obviously cost so much money.

Well, I’ll enlighten you.

First off, let’s go with why we’re doing this. As you may or may not know, this Friday, 13th March is Comic Relief day here in the UK. Comic Relief is a charity event that means you get BBC newsreaders in skimpy outfits, Dawn French going to Africa and an evening of entertainment on the TV of people doing something silly to raise money for various charities.

Even Russell Brand is allowed to have some fun

Carrentals is doing something on Friday to raise money, it is donating £2 from each booking made on Friday to Comic Relief. Which is very nice. But what has this got to do with the burning of a Burberry Suit I hear you ask…hold on there!

Before I tell you that - let me tell you why a Burberry suit is such a crime in UK ‘society’. Once, years and years ago, when Windows 95 was a glint in Bill Gates’ coke bottle glasses, Burberry was considered classy. Lawyers and old men who wear red and pink trousers (you know the ones – they’re always on the train) wore a smattering of Burberry tartan here and there to show off.

This used to be acceptable

But not anymore…now, the Burberry print and some terrible knock-offs have been claimed by the great unwashed. And a certain underclass, called ‘Chavs’ are now dripping in Burberry and White Lightning. A Chav is more than a poor person; it’s more a state of mind, a lifestyle. A Chav eats only Ginsters or Pot Noodle, fruit is a term as alien to them as soap (cleaning, for a Chav, is spraying themselves with a can of Lynx deodorant every 8 minutes) they exist in the hallways of cheap convenience stores, with their dogs, waiting to mug someone who ‘disses’ them. So, why on earth would anyone who is fortunate to not have
Scurvy or Rickets and can use and identify nouns and verbs would want to own such a thing.

Classy

It’s a good question, and perhaps one that only a few people can answer. But after much cajoling Clive has seen reason and is burning his own Burberry suit, and not only that, he is giving all of the proceeds to Comic Relief. So we thought, we’d help out this heinous act of fashion by giving our money to Clive’s cause. The suit will be burnt and the money would go to Comic Relief. Win win.

Watching it burn

So, you can either book a car on Friday 13th March to contribute to this act of interventionism or can donate directly on his just giving site.

Please donate; it’s for the greater good.